Dr. Amit Sood says, "I have learned that there are instances when the negative feedback comes from a place of ignorance. It isn’t a well-meaning critique. The harsh words are meant to be vicious and not designed to help."
On most days I could use a pat on the back. Left to myself, the dial of my moodo-meter starts to dip down. I get depleted, until something lifts me up – a kind email, a warm hello, an authentic smile, a well-meaning text, or any other packet of energy that reminds me that I am worthy and do matter.That doesn’t happen every day. And of course there are days when one encounters more than one instance where one feels relatively worthless.Earlier I used to get annoyed and irritated by these reminders. Later as I matured, I started focusing on the message and not the messenger.I used those feedbacks as opportunities for growth. However, I have learned that there are instances when the negative feedback comes from a place of ignorance. It isn’t a well-meaning critique. The harsh words are meant to be vicious and not designed to help.I watch for three signs to reach this conclusion – one, when the feedback isn’t delivered with kind words, second, when the person focuses on me rather than the situation, and third when the feedback doesn’t offer solution or hope for a solution.
I would love to keep learning with each experience. But I am human. There are times when I choose not to learn and tell myself – I am not going to believe in a person who doesn’t believe in me. Don’t believe in those who don’t believe in you.
Read Dr. Sood's blog posts and follow @AmitSoodMD on Twitter.Dr. Sood is director of research in the Complementary and Integrative Medicine Program on Mayo Clinic's Rochester campus in Minnesota. He also chairs the Mind-Body Medicine Initiative at Mayo Clinic.